Chonkers From Pier 39? I'm in San Diego Now (Here's Why)

Yes, it’s me. Chonkers. The one from the docks at Pier 39 in San Francisco, usually asleep, always somewhere in the background of your vacation photos. If the dock has looked a little roomier lately, that’s my spot.

I left Pier 39 for San Diego, and I didn’t exactly leave a note. So here’s the full story: where I’ve been, why I left and what I’m doing now. Short version: I followed the sun south, found the fish tacos and started a website. Like you do.

TL;DR (for the friends who only read headlines)

Where I went: south, until the fog gave up.
What I’m doing: writing honest, funny guides for people visiting San Diego.
What I’m not doing: going back to the fog. Sorry, not sorry, Karl.

Where I’ve been all this time

For years my life was simple. Wake up on a dock. Get photographed by an alarming number of strangers. Argue with a seagull. Nap. Repeat.

The problem was the weather. San Francisco’s fog is so famous that people call it Karl, and Karl treats summer as more of a suggestion. I spent many a July afternoon lying under what I can only describe as a damp blanket made of sky.

Then one day I overheard a family from San Diego complaining about how cold it was. They were wearing shorts. They would not stop talking about fish tacos. I had nothing to pack, so I left that afternoon.

The trip south

I took the coastal route. Scenic, slow, lots of snack breaks. I won’t say exactly how I traveled, because a guy needs a little mystery.

I will say this: “just one more mile” is how every road trip lie starts, and the sun showed up a little more often with every mile. By the time it stayed out past lunch, I knew I was close.

Why San Diego won me over

Plenty of places have sunshine. San Diego had a few extra arguments:

The weather has manners. San Diego has fog too, called May Gray and June Gloom, but it usually has the decency to clear later in the day. My best time to visit San Diego guide breaks it down month by month.
Tacos are basically currency. There’s a whole day of the week set aside for them. Read the Taco Tuesday guide and you’ll understand why I stayed.
The family resemblance. There’s a crowd lounging on the rocks in La Jolla who look a lot like my side of the family. We don’t talk about it. You can, though: here’s where to see sea lions in La Jolla.
Parking keeps me humble. In San Diego, parking is a blood sport. I wrote do you need a car in San Diego? so you don’t have to learn that the hard way.

What I’m doing now

I started SaDiego, the guide I wish someone had handed me when I got here. It’s for visitors who want the good stuff, not the brochure version.

To be clear, I’m not a local yet. I’m still very much the new guy. So I do my homework: official sites, menus, schedules, park rules and prices, plus what visitors keep saying online. Then I tell you what’s worth it, what to skip and where to park. Nobody pays for a rating here, and nobody gets one for free tacos either. I checked. I asked.

Here’s what you’ll find so far:

Secret spots: sea caves, a swaying bridge, tide pools and cliff sunsets.
Neighborhoods: where to wander, eat and stay, area by area.
Plan your trip: a trip planner that sorts things to do by car, kids and mood.
The blog: new guides every week, from Zoo survival to free things to do.

An open letter to San Francisco

Dear San Francisco,

It’s not you. It’s your fog. You gave me a dock, a career in tourist photography and more sourdough crumbs than any one guy deserves. I’ll always remember the cable car bells and the seagull who stole my spot every Tuesday.

But I needed sun. I needed fish tacos. I needed a sweater to be optional. Please don’t wait up.

Love (from a safe, sunny distance), Chonkers

P.S. Tell Karl I said hi. Actually, don’t. He’ll follow me.

What’s next for me

More guides, every week. Next up: fish tacos, getting around without a car, and how long you really need at the Zoo. If you think I missed a spot, send me a message. I read every one, usually with a taco in hand.

The verdict

Leaving Pier 39 for San Diego is the best decision I’ve ever made lying down. If you’re visiting, let me save you the wrong turns: start with the trip planner, pack layers for June, and plan at least one dinner around tacos. Pier 39, it was real. San Diego, I’m home. This post is a parody written for fun. SaDiego is not affiliated with Pier 39.